Love Letters to an Anxious Brain, Part Four: Relationships

Dear Anxious Brain,  

First, do not lose hope.  Despair will tell you there is nothing to be done, that this is just the way things are.  It’s not true.  You, most of all, have the power to change your life.  It is very simple but very difficult: all you have to do is change your mind.

“Great!” you say. “My body and mind are calm and well-rested.  What next?”

For our final installment, we look at our relationships.

Relationships

Humans are social animals.  We live in groups, and the bonds between individuals are incredibly powerful.  We are so social that imprisoning someone in solitary confinement, limiting their interaction with other humans to the bare minimum, is considered our worst punishment.  Yes, individuals need different levels of social interaction, but we all have a minimum requirement for engaging with members of our own species, as well as a maximum limit.  Within these limits we thrive.

Talk to Your Friends

Talking it out with a friend, or even just spending time with them, is often the first thing we do to make ourselves feel better, and for good reason. What I most appreciate about talking to my friends is that they act like a mirror.  When they reflect back to me a picture of myself and the world that I recognize, I feel comforted, like I can trust my own judgement.  Friends can give us a reality check: they can tell us how the world matches up with our perception of it.  Sometimes they can offer advice or practical help, but even being heard is a powerful medicine.

Talk to Adults You Trust

Sometimes what’s on your mind seems a lot for your friends. Maybe you’re unsure how they’ll react, or you know they’re going through their own stuff right now.  Talk to an adult you trust.  Their greater life experience will give them a different perspective from your friends, and they might see aspects of the situation that your friends wouldn’t.

Talk to a Professional

Talking to our loved ones is one tool in our anxiety first aid kid, and talking to a professional -- a counselor, doctor, or spiritual leader -- is another.  There are so many resources out there, including books, websites, phone lines and instant messaging services.  Professionals can offer you keen insight and teach you the tools you need to manage your anxiety.  There’s nothing wrong with asking for help.  Again, humans are social animals.  We need love and kindness from each other: our relationships that help us understand who we are in the world. 

Thank you for joining us for Love Letters to an Anxious Brain.  I hope that these words have been helpful to you and that you keep reaching out to learn more.

Ya Boi,

Ms. Sharpe